i wanna hold your hand..

frozen_xo @ 2007-01-05T00:26:00

2007-01-05T05:27:10Z

i officially hate having crushes. they crush. and majorly fuck with your entire being.

frozen_xo @ 2006-12-30T00:04:00

2006-12-30T05:16:55Z

so basically here I am to rant again. except i dont want to get into great detail just because i finally got it off my mind. But uhh basically im wondeirng why the holidays leave me depressed? like christmas was amazing, but now..just like the way im living leaves me feeling like complete crap. The tiniest things upset me...and I just wake up feeling like i hate everything...when really im just insane, because everything isnt bad AT ALL! lame i know, but im going to go google some things to fix SAD...haha seasonal affective disorder...its gotta be what i have.
plus, i feel like i cant talk to anyone these days...i feel self absorbed when i talk about myself...even though i dont take about myself THAT much...i worry...maybe i can self absorbed but who would be willing to tell me? And so i cant talk to anyone about anything. i trust people, but its kinda like im not sure anyone would understand... i want someone to just be able to understand where im coming from/what im saying without me having to come right out and say it. like i dont want to spend a huge amount of time talking about myself because then i feel ignorant, instead i just want someone to be like "i know exactly what youmean..like this and this and this". haha no one psychic though.
this years had this continuous downward slope feeling..and really in truth, alot of good things have actually happened. but i have not been able to shake this feeling for so long. im just not happy..i miss that ecstatic feeling.

20 Things about 20 People

2006-12-23T18:36:57Z

...the nicer version.This is going to be all those terrible things i refuse to say to people, because basically thats what most people have done with this. I'm going to make this a bit more just general things i want to say to people..not even nessicarily i want to say but can't.

1. you're are SO ignorant. I'm sorry but when you've known someone two years, talk to them ONLINE where their name is CLEARLY displayed right before your eyes and you still spell it wrong, that is just plan rude. Yes, i know its just a tiny mistake "aLLison" but when its repeated OVER and OVER again, it's no longer a simple mistake. My name is my title; the one thing everyone knows me as; the FIRST thing you learn about me. And so I find it offensive that you haven't even given me enough respect and consideration to get it right. I might be snapping on this the most because i don't like a couple other things about you. I don't understand why everyone loves you. I think that they're probably like me and really can't stand you but won't say it, but then another part of me knows that they love you. You're full of yourself; you think you're the absolute shit. I'm sorry but you take it too far. You think all the guys want you, but the truth is you're just a fucking tease. You THROW yourself at them, and I know you take it too far when you start to go for the ones that your FRIENDS are interested in. Yes you're pretty but friends should matter more than your fucking looks. You aren't going to succeed the way they all say you will unless you're snapped back to reality and realise that you can't treat people like this. You know that you have a problem when you live three hours away from people and they still are affected by your arrogance.

Wow, that was long...i guess that's been pent up for awhile.

2.

uhhh...i mostly just had to get that out. Haha. well I guess i might finish this another time when I find more things to say...haha.

quiz

2006-11-19T06:46:49Z

I AM: tired, bored, but still not wanting to sleep.
I WANT: to run away, get away, not feel any of this
I HAVE: skin on my forehead breaking out
I WISH: school would fuck off and die
I HATE: that his actions reflect/tell me nothing

I MISS: being happy, having that feeling..even momentarily of being ecstatic
I FEAR: falling apart
I HEAR: the tv on
I SEARCH: for something really good to finally happen
I WONDER: why things just wont go my way
I REGRET: not taking opportunities when they were more so there
I ACHE: in my back
I ALWAYS: wait for weekends and then they disappear so fast

I AM NOT: happy right now..since a long time
I DANCE: whenever i feel like it
I SING: in the shower and when im alone at the top of my lungs
I CRY: when im frustrated/stressed/upset/confused
I WRITE: in my journal not often enough and not sure whats stopping me
I LOSE: my mind waaaay too often
I CONFUSE: myself
I NEED: to try to find something to improve things?
I SHOULD: go to bed

DO YOU's/HAVE YOU's:
You keep a diary: yeah
You have a secret journal: not really secret. but yeah
You set your watch a few minutes ahead: nope
You bite your fingernails: sometimes, rarely
Take a shower everyday: pretty much
Have a(any) crush(es): yes, unfortunately
Think you know you've been in love: nope
Been hurt: yes
Want to get married: yeah
Have any tattoos/where?: not yet
Piercing/where?: ears and cartilage
Think you're a health freak: sometimes...not as often anymore as i should be
Get along with your parents: yeah

Favorite...
NUMBER: 14
COLOR: blue
DAY: friday, thursday, sunday sorta
MONTH: february, november, july, january?
SONG: cant pick just one
FOOD: dunno
SPORT: kickboxing
DRINK: diet pepsi
VEGGIE: green pepper/brocoli, etc
FRUIT: apples, strawberries, bananas
FAST FOOD: wendys

In the last 24 hours have you:
CRIED? almost...the tears starting coming but then i had to get dressed quickly and go out so i kinda brushed them away and rushed out
HELPED SOMEONE? uhh maybe, im not sure. i think so
BOUGHT SOMETHING? jeans, cd and gift certificate
GOTTEN SICK? nope, i wish, i want a sick day
GONE TO THE MOVIES? nope
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? nope
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yeah, to my dad before he went to bed
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? sorta, tay and i were writing on paper sorta letters
MISSED SOMEONE? yes
HUGGED SOMEONE? yyeah i think so
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? nope, well sorta
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? nope

would you ever...
1. Eat a bug? nah
2. Bungee jump? no
3. Hang glide? maybe
4. would you cheat on your bf/gf? maybe, haha, no...well..no.
5. Have sex with someone you don't love? yeah
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? sure? rather guys...but if it was like a dare or something sure..i wouldnt be like AHHHHH NO WAY!
7. Parachute from a plane? no way
8. Walk on hot coals? maybe, depends
9. Go out with someone for his or her looks? no
10. For their reputation? no
11. Be a vegetarian? i'd try
12. Wear plaid with stripes? maybe? not while trying to look good?
13. IM a stranger? sure
14. Sing karaoke? i used to hate it, i think it might be okay now
15. Get drunk? yeah
16. Shoplift? nah, no need
17. Run a red light? no! scary!
18. Dye your hair blue? maybe...nah
19. Be on Survivor? yeah, thatd be cool
20. Wear makeup in public? yeah
21. NOT wear makeup in public? yeah, no biggie
22. Make someone cry? not intentionallY!
23. Kick a baby? eww creepy! NO!
24. Date someone more than ten years older than you? naaah, alittle too creepy
25. Stay up all through the night? yeah, not fun the next day though

Have you:
1.Fallen for your best friend? we were close friends, but i wouldnt call him my BEST friend
2.made out with a friend? haha we were just friends at the time, but we'd previously been more
3.been rejected? ohh yeah, im familiar with that
4.been in love? nope
5.used someone? yeah probably
6.been used? yeah
7.been cool? ohhh yeah
8.done something you regret? yeah but more often not done somethig and regretted that

who was the last person...
9.you touched? my dad?
10.you talked to? my dad
11.you hugged? my dad
12.you IMed? rhiannon
13.you kissed? owen? ew
14.you had sex with? no one
15.you yelled at? my mom a little...wouldnt really call it yelling..that sounds so like abusive...more like got angry about something else and vented to her LOUDLY
16.you laughed with? my parents and taylor
17.who broke your heart? dont know if he was capable of BREAKING my whole heart or anything...but last one to like 'romantically' hurt me...owen..stupid moron
18.who told you they loved you? my dad

Do you...
19. color your hair? not anymore, learned from that. still kinda dream of being a brunette
20.have tattoos? not yet
21.have piercings? ears and cartilage
22.have a boyfriend/girlfriend? i wish
23.own a webcam? nope
24.own a thong?: yeah
25.ever get off the computer? not too often, but eventually

Have you/do you/are you...
26. stolen anything? not from a store...my sister...maybe
27. schizophrenic? not really...yes..shut up...make me...i will!....LAAAAAAAAME!
28. are you obessive? somethings i am...somethings im really obsessive over (i.e. grades, etc) somethings im not obsessive about at all
29. panic? sometimes...not as often anymore

questions...
30. if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? in bed sleeping
31. what facial feature do you like most about your boyfriend/girlfriend? if i had one i'd hope tolike his smile and his eyes
32. would you vote for a woman president? yeah
33. would you marry for money? nooo
34. Have you had braces? nope
35. do you pluck your eyebrows? yeah
36. do you like mustaches?as long as they're not pubic hair mustaches...(AHH my crush is developing one of those..kinda gross..:S)
37. when did you last have a hickey? never..
38. By who? no one
39. who do you want to kiss? a bunch of guys
40. If you could get stuck with anyone in a closet who would it be? oh maaaan...you know..oh baby, thatd rock

Fucking people take things too personally

2006-11-07T22:40:46Z

rachael just got all pissy at me because she passed me in the hall today, i didnt see her and she tried to ask me something but god forbid i was talking to someone else at the time and before i could be like "hey, sorry im done talking now, what did you want to say?" she stormed off. people jumping to conclusions is not my problem..im sick of getting the blame for people assuming im angry or im ignoring someone or other people are more important. when im with ONE person im going to give thme my attention! if someone else is going to pass by and try to grab my attention they have to not take it personally if im distracted by someone else and i dont give them my attention right away. and if i dont see someone or realise they need to say something to me, im obviously not going to be able to notify them of waiting a moment. I AM NOT A SUPER OBSERVANT PERSON...NOT EVEN THAT, I GET DISTRACTED VERY EASILY! I swear to fucking god i have ADD because i get distracted and am completely oblivious at times!
I AM NOT A FUCKING MEAN PERSON! I do not ignore people intentionally...EVER! I wont ignore certain people when im with other people..IF SOMEONE IS MY FUCKING FRIEND IM NOT GOING TO BE FUCKING EMBARRASSED OF THEM..IM NOT GOING TO IGNORE THEM ON PURPOSE! I CANNOT GIVE EVERYONE MY COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE ATTENTION ALL AT ONCE. Im not saying a bunch of people always want my attention...but I like being close with people...therefore when im with ONE person..i like to give them all my attention so we can connect better or something..just give them ALL my attention so they know i think they're worth my whole attention..if someone else comes along, im going to keep giving the first person my attention....but at the same time its difficult because when someone else comes along, i TRY to give them attention as well..but its hard..i dont want the other person to think im completely disregarding that i was there with them first.
FUCK IM SORRY TO EVERY FUCKING PERSON THAT I DONT MAKE FEEL IMPORTANT 24/7! SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT MYSELF AND OTHER THINGS...I NEVER TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL ANY LESS IMPORnTANT TO ME, I NEVER TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL INFERIOR! I DO NOT TRY TO BE MEAN...IM SORRY...FUCK i dont know what i could do! I dont know WHAT to do. im sick of being bitched at for things i dont even know i am doing. fuck...i want to just give up..

frozen_xo @ 2006-11-06T22:04:00

2006-11-07T03:04:32Z

i'm kinda of in one of those moods (like i have been for the past like three weeks..) where i dont want to have anything to do with anyone..so i try as hard as possible to segregate myself from people sometimes...but that only leads me to screwing things up. gah...but i want to be with some people sometimes..but...gah i dont know what to do. I want to get into bed and just stay there forever. Im so self absorbed right now...but i feel like such total crap that i am completely oblivious to everything...its TERRIBLE...i dont know how to change things...

I AM: tired!
I WANT: run away
I HAVE: wet hair
I WISH: school would give me a break
I HATE: men

I MISS: being happy
I FEAR: things getting worse
I HEAR: the tv on
I SEARCH: for something good to happen
I WONDER: when something good will finally happen
I REGRET: not doing something about my shittacular mood
I ACHE: everywhere
I ALWAYS: (CONTINUE LATER...THESE ARE SOMEONE ELSES ANSWERS!!! I WILL FILL MINE IN NEXT TIME IM ON!)

I AM NOT: excited about life right now.
I DANCE: 24/7
I SING: everyday.
I CRY: when i'm stressed
I WRITE: dumb surveys :)
I LOSE: the most random things
I CONFUSE: myself.
I NEED: to shut you up.
I SHOULD: write my APS homework...

DO YOU's/HAVE YOU's:
You keep a diary: i used to...
You have a secret journal: its not really a secret... its livejournal.
You set your watch a few minutes ahead: my alarm clock...
You bite your fingernails: when they need to be shaped.
Take a shower everyday: mais oui
Have a(any) crush(es): no
Think you know you've been in love: maybe...?
Been hurt: yesyesyes
Want to get married: yes!
Have any tattoos/where?: nopee
Piercing/where?: ears? i want to get my nose pierced, though.
Think you're a health freak: lmaolmaolmao...uhh no.
Get along with your parents: yes

Favorite...
NUMBER: 16
COLOR: purple, red
DAY: friday
MONTH: may
SONG: sexyback-JT yeaaaaaayea
FOOD: pasta
SPORT: dance.
DRINK: green apple soda ♥
VEGGIE: peas
FRUIT: all of them :)
FAST FOOD: macdonald's

In the last 24 hours have you:
CRIED? no
HELPED SOMEONE? yes :)
BOUGHT SOMETHING? green slushie
GOTTEN SICK? gotten sick? no. been sick? yes.
GONE TO THE MOVIES? nope
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? no
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yeah
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? nope
MISSED SOMEONE? yes.
HUGGED SOMEONE? yep
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? no
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? ish...not really.

would you ever...
1. Eat a bug? maybe...
2. Bungee jump? maybe.
3. Hang glide? YESSS
4. would you cheat on your bf/gf? no
5. Have sex with someone you don't love? no
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? depends...
7. Parachute from a plane? i dont know!!!
8. Walk on hot coals? sure
9. Go out with someone for his or her looks? yep.
10. For their reputation? no
11. Be a vegetarian? ic ould never do it.
12. Wear plaid with stripes? yes?
13. IM a stranger? sure
14. Sing karaoke? YESYESYES
15. Get drunk? sure
16. Shoplift? no!
17. Run a red light? no
18. Dye your hair blue? sure! why not?
19. Be on Survivor? no. i couldnt do it.
20. Wear makeup in public? yes
21. NOT wear makeup in public? yep
22. Make someone cry? yes :(
23. Kick a baby? WTF nooo.
24. Date someone more than ten years older than you? eww
25. Stay up all through the night? yesyess

Have you:
1.Fallen for your best friend?nopenopenope
2.made out with a friend? nope
3.been rejected? yes
4.been in love? maybe..probably not
5.used someone? yes
6.been used? yes
7.been cool? YES. grade six was a GOOD year.
8.done something you regret? nope.

who was the last person...
9.you touched? my mom?
10.you talked to? my dad.
11.you hugged? my mom
12.you IMed? eric shelsonn
13.you kissed? kissed on the cheek? my mom. KISSED KISSED? jordan
14.you had sex with? uhhh no one
15.you yelled at? my sister
16.you laughed with? kaya
17.who broke your heart? he knows who he is...asshole
18.who told you they loved you? my mom :)

Do you...
19. color your hair? nope
20.have tattoos? no :(
21.have piercings? ears?
22.have a boyfriend/girlfriend? nonono
23.own a webcam? nope
24.own a thong?: yes?
25.ever get off the computer? rarely

Have you/do you/are you...
26. stolen anything? nope
27. schizophrenic? no
28. are you obessive? yes yes yessss
29. panic? only when i'm at the disco (lmaolmao anisa)

questions...
30. if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? CUBA
31. what facial feature do you like most about your boyfriend/girlfriend?
NOTHING
32. would you vote for a woman president? yes
33. would you marry for money? lmaooo, sure why not?
34. Have you had braces? yes :(
35. do you pluck your eyebrows? yee
36. do you like mustaches?lmaolmao no thanks
37. when did you last have a hickey? NEVERRR (thank god)
38. By who? ...
39. who do you want to kiss? no one.
40. If you could get stuck with anyone in a closet who would it be? JAMIE MCKNIGHT OMGGGGGGG WHAT A HOTTIE.

REPOST AS Get to know _______

frozen_xo @ 2006-10-17T18:04:00

2006-10-17T22:05:33Z

i actually think i may be depressed...im so confused beyond belief also. i dont know how i feel about anything. i cant deal. i dont know how. i cant open up, i feel selfish..i'm stuck?

frozen_xo @ 2006-09-02T01:06:00

2006-09-02T05:28:32Z

okay so its probalby not great to livejournal when youre drunk but here goes. i feel so overwhelemd right now. i want to cry and i really dont know why. everythings fine...when i try to think of something that should be bugging me..i cant really think of anything. of course im nervous for school and i want to meet a great guy more than anything but still things are going pretty good. but i dfefinitely could use a boost. i hate sounding low on myself but it just comes out when im drunk. normally im fairly good...but theres still that section of me that has doubt in myself...poart of me that comes out when things arent the best with me....like now. things are good but im just not as good and confident as i normally am. i feel so undesired right now. and i just want back what i had with owen...tongiht my old guy friend had his arm around me...and thats all i want....that one night with owen..i had just that...and i had all i wanted then...and i was on top of the world...how do that work? i dont ask for much, and yet it still isnt' fulfilled.
i dpont know, i cant even think straight righ tnow. im so overwhelmed by life. its passing so quickly and eveyrhting just seems so difficult to handle. as much as im dreading schoool i want to be back and settled in...i want to feel stable with life. this will pass...i know it

frozen_xo @ 2006-08-20T22:47:00

2006-08-21T03:23:15Z

why have i felt so depressed the last little while...actually no..its like constant mood swings...but mostly depressed feelings. i jsut feel like everything is not going my way..but then when i think about that or say that i know its not true...i just..im so confused.i think going to go get alot of sleep...

hmm

2006-06-29T22:17:02Z

I have to say this is one of the strangest moods i've been in a long time. Sure i've had times in the past 6 months or so when i've felt just plain crappy and depressed..but right now, I just can't seem to shake it. It's almost as though my new way of life is "depressed". If it weren't for my painting job which entails me waking up at 7am each morning and rushing to get to my aunt & uncle's, i probably would just lie in bed trying desperately to go back to sleep; in hopes that maybe when I wake up again I'd feel a bit better. I feel like I'm continuously in a dream state. Nothing feels real. When I start to think, i begin to assess everything in my life, at this point or in the future. It's like suddenly I have all this space and time to fill, and instead of doing something productive, my mind has decided to fill it with thoughts that I haven't had time for before now. I often pick up the phone to call someone, in hopes of saving myself from thinking, distracting myself and reassuring myself that there are people who want to talk to me. I almost don't want to go away. I'm so nervous, and although I know this is a normal feeling before camp, i'm still scared. It's something I love so much, and I fear that it won't live up to my expectations. Last summer was amazing. Plus, two weeks seems like a really long time. I don't know...I just can't get rid of this feeling...it's like a constantly just want to cry..ha, and I often do. I feel so weak...

confusion

2006-06-26T22:39:36Z

It's an odd thing to feel as though you have a billion and one feelings going through your mind but they just keep getting pushed out of sight. It's also hard because i feel like i've just been going non-stop like an energizer bunny, and now my life has come to a halt and it's having a domino affect. You know, you stack them all up (feelings/thoughts/emotions) and then when you're done, and you stop stacking, they get knocking down, piling upontop of you. Theres plenty of people i feel like i could talk to, but then part of my feelings comes into play. The part that feels like i've been so secluded from them all week and stuff, that no one has really noticed my disappearance. i feel as though i've kinda become insignificant..who needs alison!? and also, one person who i feel like could really understand and stuff, is just a complete asshole. My feeling about this person change like the fucking weather. sometimes i'm like screw him...find someone else...other times i feel ridiculous because i care about him so much..and then sometimes i completely forget about him..feel like i've moved on..and THATS when he comes and he talks to me, and tells me all this personal stuff and we have these deep conversations about things where we both really understand each other. fuck, and then the timeswhen i think h'es interested in someone else or something, it drives me nuts. Really, he doesn't have to like me, i'm used to it, but when I think he likes someone else. Gah, i can't even sort all the other things going through my head. And part of me won't even let myself get into them. I'm not ready to think things through and feel all these things. I don't want to break down, because I don't know what to do to pick up the pieces or anything... slowly i break down bit by bit...every little while, then i stop myself before i get too carried away. i guess eventually it'll all just come out and i wnt be able to calm down for a good hour or so...im not looking forward to that. maybe i can just keep holding it back and it'll disappear?!

wants/needs/feelings..gaah

2006-04-24T20:29:25Z

okay so i dont want to seem really selfish and needy but..i just don't feel happy at all right now..and i don't really know what to do. Not only is it hard to explain this to friend or something in person because i can't get it out right or make sense of it in words, but my private journal just doesn't even feel adequate. I probably will end up writing it all down sometime tonight but its just there are so many things to get down and my thoughts jump so fast that i can't write that fast..gah I need to find some other way maybe to get it out. but then again, i also really like writing because then its all out of my mind for a bit and i always feel better afterwards.
I feel really irritable right now too. I walked in the house today after school and my mom hardly said anything to me and i had the urge to snap at her..i don't know why. Not to mention the random people who today i just didn't want to talk to at all because for some reason they bugged me.
Also, I just feel completely lacking of energy. i dont want to work out tonight, i dont want to do any work. I hate it because i should be working out and stuff because i actually gained like 5 pounds this weekend. I was SO incredibly happy when i was down to my goal weight and now i just keep going up. I think it might be because i keep using food as comfort. I have crazy cravings. But then the more i eat and feed those cravings, the uglier i feel and the more i want to comfort myself with food. I should find another way of comforting myself, but the only other thing that i can think of, just isn't happening. I want it to work out, i want to feel good in the relationship but I don't know how to make things get better. And i can't try to advance things because i feel so hideous and unwanted.
Yeah, as much as i hate the headaches that come with it, i really want it to rain right now.

blah blah blah

2006-04-18T03:53:02Z

noooo not school tomorrow! glaaaaaah!

frozen_xo @ 2006-04-04T16:18:00

2006-04-04T20:24:58Z

why does something that is making me so happy have to also make me stressed?! i feel like i'm really starting to like him..but at the same time i dont know how much i like the sound of that because I am so terrified. last relationship i was in (Two years ago!) didn't end too well and pretty much i was told i fucked up the whole thing and i was too high maintenance...I dont want to be like that! I don't want to mess up this one too! I don't know how to act. I try to help things and be honest about stuff..and then i just feel like i'm screwing things up. then i have trouble with things in public because there is SO MUCH PRESSURE! I feel like my every move is being watched and judge. People are constantly talking about couples...but i can't take being talked about..it drives me nuts...because i take it all completely to heart when really most of these people are making their judgements on merely one side of the story (the side they see.) i don't know what to do. I wanted a relationship where i felt like i could talk to someone about this sort of stuff and whatnot, but i can't because all i keep thinking about is how that last guy would react and feeling like thats exactly how its going to be this time. even if he were to say he understood and wanted to listen, i still would have this aching feeling deep down that it was driving him nuts. I guess i might just never find anyone who I can truly talk to. it's so hard these days when i talk about things with some people and then i just know they're bound to discuss it with someone else. of course there are a few people who arent like this...but still. gaah, i must have some serious trust issues...maybe thats why i completely stopped sharing things for awhile back at the beginningof this year. maybe i should juust go back to that.

more quiz thingys.

2006-04-03T00:06:42Z

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

wow is that actually me?!

(haha first couple of these i did...i couldnt find my results becuse its like at the bottom of the page..so i had to refresh it a couple times. lol, oh man im slow.)

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

i dont know about that...

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

hmmm..

Your Mood Ring is Blue-Green

Inner emotions charged
Yet, somewhat relaxed

Mood Ring Generator

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous
People will stop and watch you when you appear
Even though you're capable of random violence

You are best known for: your power

Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

wow..frightening..

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting.
You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

damn i wanted something exciting with frosting!

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer:

Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt.
Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up!

Why a Cancer will love you:

You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs.
A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

hmm..when is cancer from till..and who is a cancer?!

some quiz things

2006-04-02T05:59:35Z

Your Eyes Should Be Gray

Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive

What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

You Should Weigh 116

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!

How Much Do You Weigh?

(oh gosh, i wish)

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.
You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.

Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

jinx me not..

2006-02-28T00:38:11Z

alright so for a monday..i have to say today was pretty damn good. but of course I am hesitant to say that or analyze any of the things that happened just because then I might jinx it and well knowing my luck i probably would. i think mr. maa actually made me really happy today...like he may have been complimenting me beause he felt like i needed a confidence boost, but then again i dont know about that..because i think he knows i dont really want/need it. but i dont know..its just nice ot know that im not a total english failure after my last essay and stuff. plus, for awhile i was beginning to think i couldnt get anything deep or remotely original and yeah i dunno..it was just kinda nice. and i dunno, people were being nice to me today..it made me feel kinda wanted for once in a bit. i love all my friends so much. one thing i feel like i could have gone without today were mr. ma's comments about me liking a certain someone. like i wouldnt really care if he like teased us about like us liking each other (gezz i wouldnt mind that at all) but when its just me it just makes me look like this pathetic little girl who writes stories about a guy shes crazy about...when i totally am not like that. eww how creepy would that be...well only if i were writing about him and then he was hearing them and it was completely obvious...im not saying that my story dont have any sort of connection to guys i like/liked. anyways....it just is kinda weird because i cant tell how he reacts to these comments...like for all i know he could be throwing up in his mouth every time. gaaaah. hmmm i also had a good time hanging out with rachael and shannon after school and we might hang out with people from saturday this friday..it is exxxxxciting! they were so much fun on saturday. oh the confusion of grade ten. baaah.

sick & tired

2006-02-17T01:23:53Z

know what? I'm sick and tired. you know that?! I am so tired of people who think just because they're pissed off that it gives them permission to be complete bitches to others! Anyone who tries to approach them..or even help them, they're just rude to. and you know what?! I dont think its nice or fair at all! Just because you feel bad doesnt mean that you should make others feel bad. know, people feel bad, but at least be kind to those around you who are not trying to make things worse for you, because they are in fact probably trying to be there for you.At least be kind and say "im not in a good mood, i dont want to accidentally freak on you, i just need to be alone". Other people are in bad moods! Other people have problems! HOLY FUCK! I have plenty of things going on right now, and on top of it i have to deal with everyones SHIT! I dont even want to get into half of it..because i did last night and i completely broke down... i wish so much i could have someone to talk to..but everyones really busy with their stuff now..which is totally understandable because alot is going on for people right now. i dont bother saying anything to most people because i just dont see the point of trying to discuss my problems when they have enough on their minds. I actually feel like i cant take everything right now. but i dont know what to do..

hmm

2006-02-12T17:02:44Z

well uhh nothing new and exciting to say...but i felt like i had to update because it's been awhile. uhh o things seem to be getting better *knock on wood* but uhhh not looking forward to valentines day. or having to finish my essay soon. ah shit..i dont think im going to have it done tomorrow. i dont know..i think im going to work on it right now instead of wasting my time with whatever random thing distracts me. ahh i feel sick.

raaandom weird blogggy quizzes!

2006-02-06T22:20:59Z

Hawwt Iconss by lilbrunettee929
Your Name
Love Icon
Hottiee Icon
Clothing Label Icon
Movie Icon
Band Icon
T-Shirt Icon
Cute Icon
Seductive Icon

Quiz created with MemeGen!

okay so these things are weird, random, strange...but i was having fun!
ta da!

eww i want a better hottie!! and band! is my name THAT emo sounding musically!? i like the first and last ones though...last one ALOT. ahh romeo and juliet!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	warm
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	eternal

Quiz created with MemeGen!

do you think that sounds like me?!

wow, as much as he is totally not my type...i don't think i'd want to bang him 221 times. hes really not very attractive. hmm somehow didn't expect usher to like pasta with pesto..thought it'd be someone like classy and charmingly manly.

Your Inner Gangsta by crash_and_burn

What is yo name?

Yo gangsta name be

Milk Choclate Nuggets

You ride around in a

2003 Land Rover Defender

Yo gang

The Adjective Nouners

Yo shoes be

Cement blocks

Yo dubs be dis big, fool

3,703

How much money you got?

$3.7410471580872e+26

How gangsta are you, bitch?: 17%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

wow, im one rich mothafucka.

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	nothing really :(
best personality trait:	people person
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	it depends
when will you get married?	March 12, 2011
your kiss is:	meaningful!
People date you because:	you're everything they want in a girl/guy

Quiz created with MemeGen!

ahh sad..no good qualities. AHH im getting married when im 21!!

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?
What makes you sexy?	Everything
What makes you pretty?	Your hair
What makes you loveable?	How funny you are
What makes you fun?	Your ability to keep smiling
What makes you irresistable?	Your talant
What makes you cute?	Your personality

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
age
Stripper Name:	Jennifer Blowpez
Specialty:	wearing the best outfits
Customers say:	"Look at her go! Weee!"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

At your ten year high school reunion... by robbiewriter
Your school name
Your name
Your job will be	Hairdresser
You will be worth	$136,219
Everyone will think you	still live at home

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Which Band Should You Be In? by couplandesque
Your Name
Band Name	The Promise Ring
Role	Vocalist
Trademark	Dark-Rimmed "Emo" Glasses
Love Interest	Well-Known Actor

Quiz created with MemeGen!

teehehehe...if only these things were based on truth.

jennifer blowpez...lmao!

oh joy, my future looks promising! these things are starting to scare me!

hmmm interesting..

Who will you be stuck with at end of time? by chi_a_baidh
Your name is
Your sex is
Your favorite color is
You are stuck there because	you can't die
For _____ years	70
With	Johnny Depp. Click for pic.
He/She will think you are	God
You will	make a coconut radio

Quiz created with MemeGen!

ohhh dear.

muahahaha I was always fond of the name Ted...no wonder!

Theme songs of your life by eponine
your name?
love song:	my heart will go on - celine dion
depressing song:	on my own - les miserables
party song:	what i like about you - lillix
what-the-hell-ever song:	iris - the goo goo dolls
your life	so young - the corrs

Quiz created with MemeGen!

who says "what-the-hell-ever"??!!

What is the name of you next sex partner going to be? by bcbgbaby89
Your name?
Sex?
Your lovers name will be	chris
you will have sex in. . . days	49
Break up or marry?	Marry
you will break up/marry on	August 25, 2075

Quiz created with MemeGen!

What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
Your LJ username
Your real name
Your sex
Your age
Your last words will be...	"LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

oh dear lord...no way in hell. And also..not married till im 85?!?!

hmmm i can see myself saying that.

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	Terrible animal attack while you were out hiking in the mountains. Seemed that you made good animal food, definately a closed casket.
Death Date:	August 19, 2039
Number attending your funeral?	165
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$1,739,302

Quiz created with MemeGen!

sweet! lots of people will be there!

Who is in your celebrity family? by cerulean_dreams
User Name
Mom	Kristin Chenoweth
Dad	Anthony Hopkins
Brother	Jason Biggs
Sister	Hillary Duff
Dog	Shilo
Boyfriend	Hughe Grant
Best friend	Jackie Chan

Quiz created with MemeGen!

SO random!

A feel good quiz by cerulean_dreams
your name is...
your eyes	are gorgeous
your hair	is lovely
your smile	lights up the day
your body	is envied by many
your hugs	are warm and fuzzy
your kiss	is sentuous
your love	is wanted

Quiz created with MemeGen!

aww so cute! wish it were true.

Which Harry Potter guy falls in love with you? by Chili
Name/UserName:
House:
Who:	George Weasley
When...	...he spies you in the shower.
How he tells you:	He writes it on your homework.
What you do then:	Fall asleep.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

teehehee

You make me smile because... by xLiL PreP1x
Name...
Your Laugh ....	Is music to my ears
Your Smile ...	Is inspired
Your eyes ...	Shine with the sun
Your scent is....	Too cute
Your lips are...	Beautiful
Your hair ....	Is the best
Your friendship ....	Is Wonderful
Your hug ...	Is warm
Your kiss ...	Is delicous
Your love ....	Outta this world!
You .....	radiate beauty!

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Does He Love You Back? by BlondBabi1314
Name
Does he love you	he doesnt want to admit it
What day he will tell you	March 28, 2004
How many days you will be crying	4

Quiz created with MemeGen!

What will your kids be named? by failed_x_senses
Name
Son	Sean
Sons middle name	Benji
Daughter	Cheryl
Daughters middle name	Claire

Quiz created with MemeGen!

gezzz!! too bad these comments aren't coming from a real person!

ohhh dear. that sucks =P

ahhh no way!

Is someone in LOVE...!?!?! by Dontphunkwithmylove
Name:
Favorite Color:
Is someone in LOVE with you, right now?	Love at first sight! aww!
Are you in LOVE, right now?	Yes!
Love Icon

Quiz created with MemeGen!

hmm i dont know about that...

What will your true love look like? by lunaticfaery
First name:
They will be:	Same height as you.
Their hair color will be:	Black.
Their hair length will be:	Really short.
Their eye color will be:	Covered by colored contacts.
You will meet this person:	At a store.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

hmmm interesting..

sooo tired..

2006-02-04T05:32:12Z

this is going to be short because im tired but i felt like i should update. uhhh im going to make a top ten list of well..anything. alright...
1. im kinda hungry right now
2. it is so amazing that this week is over..i just dont want this weekend to end
3. i feel bad after reading shannons blog because i feel like we both feel almost exactly the same way. but also i feel like im part of the reason she feels this way. i know the feeling shes having isn't making me feel good, so it bugs me that one of my friend going through it also. but i guess that fact that we're both feeling the same way is kinda comforting because it could mean that everyones feeling this way and like everyones acting this way, its not just to us.
4. i dont feel like i can talk to anyone right now because i feel stupid telling people how im feeling.
5. my cousins baby is due in 49 days..wow
6. i want it to be march break.
7. i live for kristinas e-mails everyday
8. i think im going to actually spend valentines day watching either serendipity, the notebook (but its a bit too depressing), romeo and juliet,or uhh i dunno..something else. ithink with rachael because she said she wanted to and whoever else wants to join. i mean those who aren't busy with their boyfriends..grr boo you!
9. so he and i were together after school and it was the way it normally is with us...which was nice because i dunno, it was like a nice way to end a week. oh and hes kinda been a bit of a jerk recently..but i was relieved today when i found out a bunch of other people think so too. someone was talking about how he was like really nice and now all of a sudden hes like mean. which at the times if he does something kinda makes me angry, but then i know he just gets like this sometimes..and i cant really hate him or anything because i know he can be really nice also.
10. and hmm last but not least (btw these things were in no particular order..just kinda my random crazy train of thought) i'm addicted to sudoku. AHH noo thats not a good final note...hmmm scratch that...ummm i know that eventually things will improve and when they do, it will be very good =)
night xox

shit week

2006-02-03T02:34:00Z

what a terrible week. i don't even really know what the problem is. i just feel so awful. tonight just topped everything off. i was supposed to go see the sears plays but then we got there and they were all sold out. and then just everything keeps back firing. a couple minutes ago i get a call from my dad, who is all mad because he's been waiting outside of my school for twenty minutes. i told him to call me on his way home from his meeting because he could come pick me up from the play. but i never said for sure come pick me up at this time. i tell him that and hes still pissed off. he also called me when he got to the school, but i was on the subway going home so i didnt get the msgs till now. and now of course i feel bad because i guess i should have told him. but i guess i just assumed that he would call me as he was leaving his meeting and then i could tell him he didnt need to pick me up because we couldnt even go.

everything is just like crashing and burning. just when i think things are alright, barable..they drop back down. problems with my friend, which i thought was getting better..but just drove me nuts this week. i feel invisible. i feel worthless to everyone. i feel as though if i didnt even go to school no one would care at all.

I'm sick of complaining. and its good because i can't even anymore. i don't really have anything to complain about. I don't even know how to explain what i'm feeling. actually i cant even sort the things in my head out. actually i dont even know whats going through my head.

i guess on the bright side, i exchanged a strange glance with the boy today. it was weird, me and my friend passed him today on the way to the subway and we just kinda made eye contact...but it was weird. i know that he's the type not to really talk unless there is something to say, because he kinda thinks like whats the point of just trying to force conversation. but for some reason it still bugs me that he didnt talk to me last night.
thank god its almost the weekend..

damnit

2006-02-01T21:53:12Z

alright so i assumed that because yesterday was such shit, that maybe, hopefully today would be good. well gosh was i wrong! the test i could have sworn i did well on on friday, i didnt do too well on. Hmm what else happened. uhh i felt completely invisible. like i was walking through a life, completely alone but surrounded by people living their lives. everyone is having good things happen to them. all sorts of my friends suddenly have boyfriends. and i just feel so alone, and not happy and unattractive/unwanted. i want to be wanted! I want to be appreciated! i want to feel like something other than a freaking wall that people just pass by. I feel walked on, i feel like an object to be used and ignored. All these couples are walking around now and happy. and i remember that feeling and just want it back so much! the excitement, the happiness! And all this is just like RIGHT in my face! not to mention it will be even more so on valentines day. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i've realised he doesnt like me. he just doesnt. i dont know why i ever thought he might. he's clearly not interested. im just someone he talks to when he feels like having a good conversation. I FEEL SO USED!

bing bang boom

2006-02-01T04:15:14Z

well my life just keeps droning on. i hate to complain but right now everything seems so not great. i can't find anything to make me happy, and i havent had good luck in months! What is wrong with me?! all i'm asking for is to have something good happen to me. but i guess i kinda have to make an effort, but still, i cant think of anything i can do to improve things. im sick of liking him..i'm sick of wondering. im sick of waiting. im usually a patient person! Gaaaaah fucking hell. something save meeeee!!

listen here..

2006-01-24T23:53:55Z

go ahead, call me emo, but i'm not, im merely not happy right now. but you don't see me walking around, head down, sulking, whining every second of every day. so you have to give me at least the chance to bitch a bit here...it's pretty much what i use this journal for anyways. i don't say half of this out loud. i hate it how just as everyone else is having amazing luck and feeling great, i'm falling lower and lower. it just keeps adding up. but then again, it could just be my messed up mind making things seem worse than they are. ahh, everyone so busy with their own precious lives and in truth if im complaining this much, so am i. and i dont really need to complain about everyone being really wrapped up in themselves, because frankly, i won't let anyone else in really. i've been spending all my spare time feeling like im stupid and i cant do any homework and im just going to fail everything because im stuck in this obnoixous rut where im just slowly getting dumber and dumber, oh and then the rest of my time i spend doing sudoku because im madly addicted and watching teen soap opera type shows..watching all the happy couples and longing to maybe finally get back what i once had and miss so much...puh, not going to happen though...and that'll be rubbed in my face soon, as valentines day quickly approaches..wooopeee! AHH, im too confused to write..i can't even think straight..

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Name:
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:	221

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Who were you in a past life? by Kat007
Name:
Birthdate:
Favorite Color:
Country:
You were most probably:	A farmer named Ted
If not then you were:	A sheep dog named Grody

Quiz created with MemeGen!